My mother called me this week, wondering if we were having a “watchnight” service.  For those of you lucky people who have never heard of such a thing, a “watchnight” service is a church service held New Years Eve, usually beginning at 11 pm or thereabouts, and ending just after midnight; it’s a kind of Christian way to welcome in the New Year without the booze or the kissing.

I have vague memories of being hauled to “watchnight” services at a youngin.  And I have vague memories of our youth group going out after the “watchnight” service into the freezing cold northern Ontario night to spend the next 7 or 8 hours doing crazy stuff until daybreak.  By crazy stuff, I refer to swimming at a local indoor pool–a great idea when the temperature outside is thirty below!; going sledding down a hill–I seem to recall a friend of mine breaking her nose that night; and a bunch of other activities, all designed, I imagine, to keep us out of trouble (and out of bed) on New Years Eve.

Typical "watchnight" service attendee

The trouble with the “watchnight” service (and other equally ingenious things that take place at church) is simply the point of it.  What, exactly is the point of a “watchnight” service, anyway?  Now, I know fellowship is important, and I love fellowship.  But I have to tell you…at 11 pm on any given night, my favorite kind of fellowship is pillow fellowship!  Furthermore, invariably you’ll get people out to a “watchnight” service you don’t see the rest of the year at church.  What’s up with that, anyway?  It must be harder for these backwards people to drag their butts out of bed on Sunday morning than stay up late New Years Eve.  I don’t get that at all, and that only adds to my disdain for the “watchnight” service.

So, my response to whether or not my church has a “watchnight” service is:  NO WAY! I would never, ever subject my congregation, whom I love dearly, to such a horrible thing.

I’d rather have my feet washed by a total stranger…