Applying the Truth, Colossians 3:18-25

Paul begins a new paragraph with 18. Paul had been discussing a very sublime truth: Christ is the only all-sufficient Savior and because of who He is He is the source of all believer’s lives. Paul is now going to show his readers how to apply this truth to some special groups of people, based on what he wrote in verse 17:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

The “in Christ” formula is put into practical use here in human relationships, both personal and social. Christian teachings are different from pagan teachings, and Paul points this out by noting the reciprocal nature of our duties to one another. This idea was revolutionary in Paul’s day, where the men dominated the women, the educated took advantage of the ignorant, and the rich oppressed the poor. Christianity isn’t like that, and here is how Paul demonstrates that.

Some misinterpret these verses, so some basic observations should be made:

• The emphasis of the whole passage is on duties, not rights.
• These duties are reciprocal; one party does not have an advantage over another.
• Christ supplies the ability to carry out the admonitions of this passage.

Observing these guidelines for relationships shows the purpose of Christianity. Paul is not suggesting that we should “live in accordance with Nature,” but rather “to do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.”
Christianity gives us the pattern for all God-glorifying conduct.

“In Christ” provides the reason, the conditions and the quality of our conduct towards one another. Paul singles out a few relationships where we can demonstrate our Christ-likeness:
husband-wife, parents-children, and master-slave.

1. Wife-Husband, 3:18

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Suffragists hate Paul’s use of the word “submit” and because our culture has degenerated over the past half-century, they have successfully changed the wedding vows in the Book of Common Prayer, eliminating the word “obey.” However, that doesn’t change the wording used in Colossians 3:18. This teaching, which is repeated and expanded upon greatly in Ephesians 5:22-33, is consistent with the teaching of the rest of the Bible, so it is not unique to Paul. The reason given for this submission is not because the husband deserves it or because he is better than his wife, it is because such behavior “is fitting in the Lord.”

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Galatians 3:28)

It is appropriate for the wife to submit to the husband. Paul in no way is suggesting that a husband is “the King of his castle” or some kind teapot despot in his home. There is a divine order to be observed in Scripture: Adam was formed first, and even the Son is subject to the Father (1 Corinthians 15:28). Moule writes that submission means “loyalty,” given the way marriage is likened to the union of Christ to the Church.

Three points about this submission:

(1) The wife’s submission is prompted by her husband’s unselfish love.The form of the verb for “submit” (hypotassesthe) indicates that the submission is to be voluntary.

(2) The wife’s submission is not to be forced by her husband. Vaughn writes that this kind of submission is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that a household must have a head, gladly shows to a loving and devoted husband.

(3) This submission is to be “fitting in the Lord.” The word “fitting” means what is “becoming and proper.”
The phrase “in the Lord” tells us that the wife’s action in submission is proper in the way God has ordered His creation.

McGee wrote that:

This is for the purpose of ordering the home. This is not for the purpose of producing a brow-beating husband. I do not believe that God intends for a wife to submit to an unsaved husband who beater her orders her to things contrary to her walk with the Lord.

2. Husband-Wife, 3:19

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The kind of love a husband should have for his wife is the highest and noblest of all love: agape. This kind of love is also due the Lord. This kind of love will overrule any bitterness, anger, commands and selfishness. The ancient world was a man’s world, and Paul’s admonition to the Colossian men would have been revolutionary and would have raised some eyebrows. But the new life in Christ is a transforming life, and it should transform the home.

Paul gives the husband two responsibilities toward his wife:

(1) “Love (agapate) your wives.” This kind of love has nothing to do with affection or romance, but rather compassion and caring, a deliberate attitude that puts her needs above his own and her well-being above his own.

(2) “Do not be harsh with them.” A husband should be understanding, never cross; considerate, never bitter; and should honor his wife in ever way (1 Peter 3:7). The husband should view his wife as his equal in the sense that she is a “joint heir of the grace of life,” according to 1 Peter 3:7.

3. Children-Parents, 3:20-21

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The one obligation Paul puts on children is simply to obey their parents. The word “obey” here means literally “to listen under” or “to look up to.” It must be pointed out here that Paul is writing to Christians within the church. It is as least implied that both parents will be performing their duties noted in the previous verses. Elsewhere in the Bible it is clear that a Christian husband and a father has no right to demand of his family anything that is contrary to the dictates of Scripture. In fact, Paul in Ephesians 6:1 writes that there are limits to this obedience:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

A child’s obedience to their parents is something that is very pleasing for the Lord to see, so much so that in the Decalogue there is a promise of long life attached to it. This obedience, further, is not base on the parents character; rather it is the obligation of the child to be obedient; it is the nature of the parent/child relationship. Surely this puts a heavy responsibility on the shoulders of the parents to continue “in Christ.”

Following the pattern of a wife’s submission to her husband and a husband’s love for his wife, there is a reciprocity here. Children obey their parents, and a father is not to “embitter” their children. This is simple parenting. A father needs to exercise wisdom and restraint as they raise and discipline their children so that their children don’t lose heart. The word “embittered” properly means “do not nag” as a habitual action. The opposite behavior is at least implied: a father should encourage and teach and build up their developing child. As to why fathers are singled out here, most scholars are silent. William Kelly in his lecture on this topic thinks this:

Mothers are not thus exhorted, for as a rule, her general fault is to spoil [her children].

4. Slaves-Masters, 3:22-25

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.

Paul spends a lot verses on the proper relationship between “the lowly classes” and their masters. This is probably due to the fact that Onesimus, the runaway slave, was returning as a Christian, carrying this letter to the Colossians.

Some basic observations:

(1) This passage does not condone slavery; it is setting forth a basic Christian economic principle: a just and fair wage for a day’s work.

(2) The “masters” of Paul’s day are the “employers” of today, and the “slaves” are merely the “employees.”
This passage is just one of several areas of responsibility surrounding verses 17 and 23. So the advice given here is an outgrowth of 3:17, not a stand alone teaching.

(3) A slave in Paul’s day was a person actually owned by another, although there were laws governing a “slave owner” could do his property. But a Christian slave was to be considered a brother, according to Philemon 16. It is not Paul’s intention to upset the social order of his day, although in the New Testament there is a precedent for civil disobedience (Acts 5:29), but that is to obey God in spite of local laws.

Accordingly, with verse 17 in view, Paul encourages believing slaves or servants to remain as faithful servants, doing their assigned duties as though the Lord was their owner, which, in fact, He is. John Nielson points out that while not upsetting the social order of his day, by injecting Christian principles into it, Paul is planting the seeds of change, which will eventually transform society.

The reciprocal statement is given in 4:1 and involves how the master treats his slave. Just as a believing servant should be an obedient servant to their master, a believing master must also be obedient to his master, the Lord.

Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Abiding principles

No human being becomes obedient by good rules. Rules have their place in an orderly society, but with believers there is another, much higher principle at work in Paul’s teaching. The heart of the believer must be filled with the right motive, and love for others give a sense of duty to them. This is what makes obedience easy.

Everything a believer does, whether in a marriage and family setting or in the workplace, is to be done as if they are doing it for the Lord. It is Christ, not rules. Christ is the Means, the Motive, the Measure, and the Object of all behavior.

As Kelly observed:

Rules are never the power but only the tests of obedience.